So, this post has been sitting in my drafts folder for a couple of years. Considering that my kids are now 9 & 11 you can tell how old it is. Anyway, I never finished it. I remember at the time I wrote this that I felt it was too negative, that I was just being a "Debbie Downer." But, now that my kids are older and I look back, I hope this blog gives hope to parents of younger kids. I promise, it does get better... at least it has for me. I wish I had finished what God was telling me at the time. But since I didn't... how about a little audience participation? What has God taught you in moments like these? What are the lessons you've learned from raising your kids? I would love to hear your feedback in the comments below.
......
Have you ever felt like you were drowning? I don't mean drowning in water, but drowning in the overwhelming presence of the people around you. I think that must be what agoraphobics feel like when they get in big crowds of people. They feel trapped, like there is no way out. All they want to do is run, run far away where they can breathe.
That is how I feel around my kids sometimes. I'm not saying this to complain. I'm just saying, sometimes I feel so trapped by them. I know I'm not the only one. I'm sure every Mom (and Dad) at some point has felt this.
Nothing is ever enough. In the eyes of my 5 and 7 year old I can never spend enough time with them. From the second they awake to the second they fall asleep it's, "Mom, I need..., Mom can you..., Mom I want... Mom! Mom! Mom!" It's not just me that feels this sometimes, it's my husband too. We have a joke in our house that Jaedon starts his questions as soon as Keith turns the doorknob. He doesn't even wait for Keith to get inside after a long day of work before he starts asking, "Dad can you..."
I can take them swimming at the YMCA and as soon as I say, "It's time to go guys," they are already asking, "Can we go to McDonald's?" In my mind I'm thinking, "We're not even out of the pool yet! Give me a second to think." Or we'll get home from an hour at the grocery store and as soon as I walk in the house, before I've put any groceries away they're asking, "Can you play a game with us?"
Sometimes when I'm really trying to focus on spending time with them is when I get the most exhausted. It's because as soon as I finish one board game they're already bringing out another. Or we'll spend an hour at the park and as soon as we get home they want to go on a bike ride. After the bike ride they want to go exploring in the back yard.
This has been driving me nuts lately. I'm thinking there are two truths (if you want to call them that) that God is trying to teach me through my kids.
1)
2)
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Final Thoughts on Romania
I regret not blogging while we were actually in Romania. Partly because this would be done by now, but more so because it would be easier to express my feelings in the moment. So much happened and I don't want to bore everyone with just details. I've been thinking for several weeks that I need to wrap up my Thoughts on Romania posts, but its been really hard to get back to it. So much has happened since then and so much has changed.
So, I think I'll just give a simple recap of the final weeks and call it good.
Our last 2 1/2 weeks in Romania were spent traveling between our home base and the village of the future ranch. The dream is to have a horse ranch where the girls can go through equine therapy to promote their healing. The plan is to have it be self-sustaining with animals and crops. The land is there, the veterinarian is in place, the love and dream is there. Like so many things in this world, now it comes down to money. It's kind of hard to build a house and purchase animals and tools without money. God is starting to move and it is so awesome to see it happen.
Our first week at the ranch property we did some preliminary demolition and got started on some of the construction work that needed done. It was our family, our friend Randy, Scott, E., and Gabi and his dad. We got quite a bit done. E and I worked on tearing out an old brick oven. That was difficult work. But it felt so good to get my hands dirty and get some physical labor in. Unlike the week in Iabalcea where I kind of felt in the way, at the ranch I felt like I made a difference.
The 2nd week a large group from St. Louis came to join in our work. I think the single most detrimental stumbling block for a mission trip is poor communication. Without going into detail (because it doesn't really matter), we knew nothing about the St. Louis team that was coming out. All we knew was that it was huge (40+ people). They turned out to be such a huge blessing! They were able to work with several missionaries that are friends with Scott & Carolyn and so were a blessing on many fronts.
One of the biggest blessings that came out of it for Scott & Carolyn was that a couple of the people on the St. Louis team were able to come out to the ranch and film an interview with Scott, Carolyn & E. about Rock of Hope Ministries and the vision for the Ranch. They are then taking the film back to the States to help raise awareness and support for the ranch. That is HUGE! It was confirmation to us as well as Scott & Carolyn that God has this. It has been a long process, but God is putting things in place to make it happen. Without God, none of the dream for the ranch would be possible.
Keith and I also made some friends that are eager to return to Romania. That is also a blessing. The more people we can introduce to the Pouncey's and help them to catch their vision, the more the vision can spread and gain support.
I have a lot I could talk about, but so much of it involves the girls that live with the Pouncey's. I don't feel right sharing any of their stories because, as I've said before, they are not my stories to tell. However, I can say this. I feel connected to these girls. We are thousands of miles apart, but I still think and pray for them often. I still keep in touch with them. Though, lately, life seems to have become time consuming so I have not been able to talk to them for a while. I hope to remedy that this week.
So, the big question, for us at least, is do we want to go back. The answer is yes. I don't know how soon we will be able to simply because it is not cheap to fly a whole family to Europe for a month. However, it is totally worth every dime. The girls have become part of our family and we want to keep up those relationships as best we can. We still have friends from our first trip we would like to see again. And of course, we want to visit Scott, Carolyn, Gabi and Samina as well. I wish I could clone myself so I could just live in both countries at once. But, since that's never going to happen, I guess I just have to get better about finding time to Skype with the girls and save my pennies so someday soon we can return to our Romanian family.
So, I think I'll just give a simple recap of the final weeks and call it good.
Our last 2 1/2 weeks in Romania were spent traveling between our home base and the village of the future ranch. The dream is to have a horse ranch where the girls can go through equine therapy to promote their healing. The plan is to have it be self-sustaining with animals and crops. The land is there, the veterinarian is in place, the love and dream is there. Like so many things in this world, now it comes down to money. It's kind of hard to build a house and purchase animals and tools without money. God is starting to move and it is so awesome to see it happen.
Our first week at the ranch property we did some preliminary demolition and got started on some of the construction work that needed done. It was our family, our friend Randy, Scott, E., and Gabi and his dad. We got quite a bit done. E and I worked on tearing out an old brick oven. That was difficult work. But it felt so good to get my hands dirty and get some physical labor in. Unlike the week in Iabalcea where I kind of felt in the way, at the ranch I felt like I made a difference.
The 2nd week a large group from St. Louis came to join in our work. I think the single most detrimental stumbling block for a mission trip is poor communication. Without going into detail (because it doesn't really matter), we knew nothing about the St. Louis team that was coming out. All we knew was that it was huge (40+ people). They turned out to be such a huge blessing! They were able to work with several missionaries that are friends with Scott & Carolyn and so were a blessing on many fronts.
One of the biggest blessings that came out of it for Scott & Carolyn was that a couple of the people on the St. Louis team were able to come out to the ranch and film an interview with Scott, Carolyn & E. about Rock of Hope Ministries and the vision for the Ranch. They are then taking the film back to the States to help raise awareness and support for the ranch. That is HUGE! It was confirmation to us as well as Scott & Carolyn that God has this. It has been a long process, but God is putting things in place to make it happen. Without God, none of the dream for the ranch would be possible.
Keith and I also made some friends that are eager to return to Romania. That is also a blessing. The more people we can introduce to the Pouncey's and help them to catch their vision, the more the vision can spread and gain support.
I have a lot I could talk about, but so much of it involves the girls that live with the Pouncey's. I don't feel right sharing any of their stories because, as I've said before, they are not my stories to tell. However, I can say this. I feel connected to these girls. We are thousands of miles apart, but I still think and pray for them often. I still keep in touch with them. Though, lately, life seems to have become time consuming so I have not been able to talk to them for a while. I hope to remedy that this week.
So, the big question, for us at least, is do we want to go back. The answer is yes. I don't know how soon we will be able to simply because it is not cheap to fly a whole family to Europe for a month. However, it is totally worth every dime. The girls have become part of our family and we want to keep up those relationships as best we can. We still have friends from our first trip we would like to see again. And of course, we want to visit Scott, Carolyn, Gabi and Samina as well. I wish I could clone myself so I could just live in both countries at once. But, since that's never going to happen, I guess I just have to get better about finding time to Skype with the girls and save my pennies so someday soon we can return to our Romanian family.
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