Ever since my kids were born I have sung the same bedtime song and given them hugs and kisses as I tuck them in. When they were infants, I rocked them to sleep with the song. When they were toddlers I helped them brush their teeth and get dressed for bed, then they'd climb under the covers and I'd sing the song then hug and kiss them goodnight. Now that they're older I can let them get themselves ready for bed, then I come in to tell them goodnight.
Every night, without fail, I come in to sing the song and kiss them goodnight. Even on night's when I'm not home when they go to bed, I still go in to kiss them goodnight - whether they're awake or not. Every night since Jaedon was born. That means I've been doing this nightly for approximately the last 2,750 days.
So why then, does my daughter, EVERY NIGHT, ask as soon as she's in the bed, "Can you give us hugs and kisses?" (Granted for her, it's only been 1990 days) It's irritating!
Almost every night I ask her, "Emma, have I ever not given you hugs and kisses?"
To which she'll answer, "No."
And I respond, "Emma if I've always done it, then don't you think I'll probably do it again?"
"Yeah."
"Then, Emma, you don't have to ask every night."
"Okay."
The next night the conversation starts all over again. What she doesn't realize is that each time she asks, I get a little less willing to do it. Sometimes I want to teach her the hard way... ie if she asks for the hugs and kisses that she knows I always give then I won't give it - because she's not trusting me. (For the record - I've never done this. I've just wanted to out of irritation. But I love my daughter too much to withhold affection just to teach a lesson.)
Tonight, as she asked the question for the 700th time, it hit me. So many of us do this to God. We ask for things over and over again. Things he's always provided. Yet we don't trust that he'll do it again. We don't trust that He's faithful. But has your heavenly father ever let you down? No! People have... all the time. But they're not God. God is always there, waiting for you, for me, to turn back to him.
Our conversation may go something like this:
"God, will you show me that you're there?"
"Child, I call to the sun in the morning and tell the moon where to sleep. I call to the wind and it answers. I sing to the flowers and they grow. I bring the seasons in their time. I send the rain and calm the tempest. I know each star by name and set them in their place by night. I calm the raging sea. I tell the birds when to soar. I clothe the lilies of the field. I speak to your soul, so that you might learn right from wrong. Have I ever let you starve? Have I ever let you suffer without reason? Have I ever left your side, even in the worst of times?
"No, Father."
"I am the first and the last. The one who was and is and is to come. I am the same now as I was in the beginning. I'm not suddenly going to change my very nature. In fact it is impossible. Do you trust that this is true?"
"Yes, Father."
"Then child, just trust in me."
And we do... for a time. Then things get hard. Life happens. We forget that God told us through the apostles that the life of a Christian would not be easy. Over and over again, the letters of Paul, and Peter and James et al. tell us that we WILL suffer. Not maybe we'll suffer, but we WILL suffer. But we are called to stand up under those hardships, to look at persecution as a prize that we have won by living out our faith.
But it's not even just persecution... it's the struggles of daily life. No where in the Bible does it say that once we become Christians our life becomes easy and that we'll be rich and never again have a care in the world. It's the complete opposite. Basically, once we become Christian, we are told we have someone we can lean and depend on to get us through those tough times. He is faithful.
We will never one day need God and find that He is not there. Scripture says he never slumbers.
Have you ever really needed someone in the middle of the night? One night a couple of years ago my husband woke me up in the dead of night with a full blown panic attack. I'm embarrassed to say that I wasn't there for him. I was so tired I couldn't even stay awake to help him through a very scary and difficult time. I failed him. My humanness failed him. My body needed sleep, and I didn't have the strength to fight it. I got rest that night, my husband suffered through his panic attack alone and felt let down by his wife- the one person in the world he should be able to depend on.
But God is not a person. He is an omnipotent, omnipresent being. He has no beginning and no end. He does not need sleep. It's hard to wrap our human minds around it all. But God is not human. He's very existence is more than the human mind can comprehend (that's where faith comes in). There will never be a time when we are in desperate need that God says, "I want to help, but I'm just so tired. I can't stay awake. I'm sorry."
I am so glad that God is bigger and more complex than me. Otherwise, He might have the same desire I have with my kids. Imagine this: God is eager to meet with me as I come to Him in prayer. He is anxious to hear my heart, for me to pour out my love to Him and the first thing out of my mouth is, "God, are you really there?" If He were human, if He were me He might say, "Don't you get it yet? Why do I even bother? Why don't I just walk away and let you feel my absence. Then maybe you'll be able to tell the difference between my presence and the absence of me."
Thank you LORD that you are a loving Father. Thank you that even though our brains can't understand but a small portion about you, you know all about us and love us anyway. Thank you for your patience, for your faithfulness, for your mercy. Without you we are wandering spirits, looking for a home. With you, we are souls with a purpose, living in this world as aliens longing for our future home with you. Help us Lord with our unbelief. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment