Exactly one year ago today I sat in my living room bawling as I wrapped presents. Joyful right? Haha, yeah, well there was a reason for it. I was just five days away from my first over-seas mission trip. I was excited, and terrified. More than that though I was overwhelmed knowing that the country I was headed to is the poorest nation in the Northern Hemisphere. So as I sat there wrapping present after present my heart broke.
Fourteen of us traveled to Haiti. Between us we had "adopted" 5 families to bless when we arrived. The family my friend Stephanie and I adopted had a mom, dad, grandma, 3 kids and a baby born on Christmas day. I had gone through my kids outgrown clothes and packed as much as I could into my extra bag. I had gone to Goodwill and bought dresses for the women of the family and shirts and shorts for the men. I had made peppernuts and put them in a Christmasy tin. I provided a football, soccer ball & pump. Between Stephanie and I we filled two rubbermaid tubs of stuff for our family. But as I sat there wrapping frivolous gifts for my family I couldn't get over the fact that my adopted family would be lucky to get a meal Christmas day. No matter what I gave, it would never be enough. And so I bawled.
I've always been irritated that Christmas has become so commercialized. When I had kids I really started to notice how much of a role Santa played and how little of a role Jesus played. It annoyed me that so many people treat Christmas as something to get through - something to survive - rather than to enjoy and celebrate for what it is. It's not PC, but I'm here to tell you, Christmas is not for athiests. No, that's what the "Holiday Season" is for. Christmas - that's for Christ. It's the time to celebrate His birth. It's time to stop thinking selfishly and focus on those around us. It's time to notice your neighbor, to get to know them and share Christ's love with them. It's time to stop being so busy and to slow down enough that you can see Christ's work in your life. If you're a Christian and can't see Him when you slow down, then that's a sign that you've passed him by somewhere along your busy road in life. Maybe it's time to do a u-turn in what you're doing - time to retrace your steps and figure out where you left Him behind. Christ never leaves us, it's we who leave him.
I think last Christmas Eve was the first time I really got it. I had been so busy. Buying, buying, buying, but not thinking about my savior. Actually... no, that's not right. It was the first time I had been busy buying, buying, buying and the whole time feeling God say, "That is not what it's about." As I sat that night I cried because I got it. I saw clearly what it was about. It's about helping the "least of these." So even though I was scared about traveling to Haiti, I was excited that I would get to put my faith into action.
No, you don't have to travel to another country to learn to be a witness. But it sure helped me. Going to Haiti changed the course of my life. I truly believe that. There were things I experienced there that I couldn't have experienced here. Here it's too easy to ignore God. There, his presence is so obviously absent it's a shock to your system. So, I'm glad for last Christmas Eve. God used it to prepare my heart. He used it to open my eyes to the abundance we have, and the lack of the "least of these." God broke me down and helped me shift my focus from myself to Him and the work He would be doing through me. I am so grateful that God allowed me to see with his eyes - if but for just a moment. And yes, I think God was crying too.
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