January 5th
Tuesday
Whoever thought of taking journals on this trip was a genius. As I take the time to go back through my journal I'm remembering things that I had completely forgotten about. So, while you're getting to hear about the trip for the first time, I'm getting to relive the highs and lows and be blessed all over again.
This was our second VBS day. Remember the spiritual warfare I told you about that occurred on Sunday. I think God used that to prepare me for the even stronger warfare that was waged on this day. Every night we got together in our circle of Hope to share testimonies and just to sing praises and pray together as a group. Well, Monday night that just didn't happen. I don't know if it was because some of us were so overcome by the events of the day or if we were distracted by trying to get the craft for VBS organized or what. But it just didn't happen. Every morning we always prayed as a group. But, this day, for some reason, we had people going in all different directions and we didn't pray as a group. After reading my account, you tell me if you think it made a difference.
Donald (Jan's bodyguard & all around awesome helper) had Jan's truck that he was using to get Dan Warren to the new house (and get some supplies) so he could do construction while we did VBS. Another vehicle was used to get some of the other men over to the new house to help Dan. That left one vehicle to get the other 18 or so of us to Bor Kanal for VBS. We wanted to get there early so we could get the benches set up before letting the kids in. But, since we only had one vehicle, Ron dropped a few of us off then he and Shelby went back to the house to get the rest of the group. Okay, is that clear as mud?
On the way to the church, I led our small group in prayer. I don't remember many specifics about my prayer other than I prayed, "God you are the potter, I am the clay. Mold me into your vessel, hold me in your hand and guide me today." I truly learned the power of prayer on that trip. There were several instances where I saw very clear answers, and this was one of them.
Oh, yeah, and it was still a muddy, sludgy mess getting from the vehicles to the church. Anyway, that's not important. On this day, unlike the previous day, the door to the church was already open. So, as soon as the kids saw our car drive up they RAN to the church and started piling in. It was chaos. By the time our group made it through the crowd (which we basically had to shove ourselves through) there were already about 150+ kids in the church. I watched as our "bouncers" tried to block the door to keep a mob from coming in. It was insane! There were 3-4 kids trying to shove through the door at the same time and then moms would try to hand their babies through the doorway trying to get someone to take them. The babies were crying, the moms were yelling, some of the kids were fighting. I had to just walk away and let the guys handle it.
I stood behind the podium and just prayed. I prayed for peace, for calm, for a hedge of protection around the church and all who were in it. Right off the bat, we had to kick a few boys out because they were fighting over places to sit. Since we had such a huge influx of kids we also had to ask some of the oldest ones to leave (partly I think because they would have caused the most problems as far as starting a riot if we didn't have enough stuff), and we had to refuse the youngest - because they had no idea what was going on anyway. We ended up right around 200 again, maybe just a few more.
Jiffy started us with music again (the other half of our group wasn't even there yet). The day before it had been a pleasant sound, but this was just loud and rowdy. There were those that were still just having fun, but there was just a different atmosphere about the place. While we were singing the rest of our group arrived and Donald arrived with the benches. He told me he still had to go back and get Jan. My heart sank a little because I really wanted him there for security. He is the nicest guy, but his presence exudes a "don't you dare mess with me" vibe. No offense to the other guys - but I wanted muscle! So off he went. We sang a couple of more songs and then it was time for me to teach.
Ron had videotaped some of my teaching the first day, I'm not sure if he did the second day or not. If he did, I'd love to see it because I'm not really sure what I said! But if God spoke through me the first day, he did so even more powerfully the second. I long to be able to speak with a group of people again with the type of passion I was speaking on that day. God blessed me by using me to reach those kids. The first day we talked a lot about love and how because God loved us we wanted to come to Haiti and teach the kids that God loved them too. On the second day, God used me to tell them about Jesus and how he died for them because he loved them.
I need to pause to give some important cultural information. Voodoo also uses the cross as a religious symbol, but for a very different reason. In Christianity we celebrate Good Friday as the day Jesus died for our sins to create a doorway for us to gain salvation. He was the perfect sacrifice, blameless in all ways. They also celebrate good Friday - as the day Satan won. To them, Satan defeated Jesus by killing him on the cross. To them, Jesus never rose from the dead. They celebrate Good Friday with a festival called Rah Rah. The voodoo priests crack whips, essentially imitating the suffering Christ went through before the crucifixion. And the party goers laugh and cheer. The festival is full of all kinds of debauchery - drunkenness, lewdness, strippers, every vulgarity you can imagine.
This is my testimony of how I can prove God was speaking through me. I knew this going into VBS and I knew several of those listening outside the walls of the church were voodoo practitioners. Had it been me, I would have been too scared for my own safety to say anything about it. But God has nothing to fear. He used me to tell the kids (and any who would listen beyond those walls) that Satan did not win that day, that my Jesus defeated Satan. I told them that Satan had no power over me, that death had no power over me because I had been saved by the blood of Christ. I told them that Satan wants them to think Jesus is dead, but that I know that Jesus rose on the third day conquering Satan. I told them that if I died tomorrow, if I was murdered tomorrow that it didn't matter because I would be in Heaven with Jesus. I told them that my only hope was that someday they would come to know Jesus too, that they would accept him as their savior. It sounds like just words, but it was the most sincere thing I've ever said in my entire lifetime. As I looked at kids while I was talking several of them looked right back at me. In that look I could tell that they were getting it, that they had heard God through me. As I looked around at my other team members I saw tears in their eyes which brought tears to my own. God was talking to these kids in a very real way. Yes they saw me, but they heard God!!!
God, through me, gave the kids the plan of salvation. Using the promise bead bracelets we had brought I walked them through it. I told them that the yellow bead represented God and how much he loves us. I told them that the black stood for what our lives are like before we know God, it represents the dirt on our hearts and in our lives. I told them the red represented the blood of Christ that he shed for us because he loved us and by believing that Jesus is who he said he is and accepting him as our savior, we too can be saved from sin. I told them the white represents our hearts after the blood of Jesus has washed away all our sin - all the dirt in our lives. The green represents how I grow and know God more by obeying him and the blue represents that I have eternal life in Heaven through believing and accepting Jesus.
When I stopped teaching I told them that we were going to give each of them a bracelet and that I wanted them to really think about what the different colors meant. We started handing them out and it was like instantly the chaos hit. We had kids grabbing them and getting mad if they didn't get one right away. I felt this absolutely overwhelming oppression. It was like all the heaviness of Bor Kanal, all the darkness swarmed in on me all at once. The feelings I had from Bor Kanal that Sunday were intensified sevenfold. At that point I had been handing out bracelets too, I gave my last one away then went behind the podium at the front of the church and started crying. I couldn't control it. I was so overwhelmed. A couple of people came up and asked what was wrong and I told them, "I don't know!" Angie was one of them (love that lady) so she just put her hand on my shoulder and prayed. I collected myself long enough to tell the team that we would start handing out the crafts now.
We gave them each a paper plate with three holes punched in it and some crepe paper already glued to it. Then we gave them a baggie that had three bells and three pieces of pipe cleaner. They were making a tambourine. As I helped hand them out there was still some of the aggressiveness in some of the kids, though it was a little better. Then the oppression just hit me again. I felt like I was losing my mind. Here I had just poured out my heart and God's love to these kids and I just felt like my world was instantly falling apart. I had to go hide to cry again. I looked up from behind the podium and there was a boy there - about 10 years old - holding up his tambourine for me to see. He was smiling. I walked out to see him and show him how to make "music" with it all with tears still running down my face. He probably thought I was crazy. Stephanie came up and asked what was wrong, again I said, "I don't know! I just feel.... I don't know!" So she prayed then she said, "Look, they love it!" I looked around and they were smiling. They weren't fighting. Jiffy started leading them in song and they played those silly tambourines with joy. I smiled and said, "Well, if that isn't a joyful noise unto the Lord I don't know what is."
Afterward, when all the kids had been dismissed, we gathered as a group (Jan and Donald had gotten there right around the time they were playing the tambourines I think). Jan said that she didn't feel that God was punishing us for not meeting together in prayer, but that he was reminding us of the need to gather in prayer. You're telling me!!! So we prayed, right then and there.
Since we had not been able to give our gifts to our adoptive family the night before, Donald brought the gifts and took them to their house while we were at VBS. So, while everyone else cleaned up, he took Stephanie and I to the Elphni house. Some of the same people who had come over for dinner were there, which makes me wonder if they aren't family. I don't know. But we were able to give them our gifts, which after the heavy attack I just went through, and to an extent was still going through, was nice. I was able to give them the peppernuts I had made and explain that it was a family tradition for us to exchange them at Christmas time. They were very excited to receive the beans and rice we had purchased at the market the day before.
We gave them a huge Rubbermaid tub FULL of clothes for everyone in the family and another tub with shoes and toys. They were so thankful. I would have liked to have had more time with them, but I was still feeling a very heavy... presence... on me (I'm not sure if that's the right word - it's really hard to explain) and I just wanted to get out of Bor Kanal.
That afternoon we headed to the river - about a 45 minute drive away. Maegan, a girl in our group, had decided that she wanted to be baptized - so what better place than a river in Haiti! We took a bunch of hot dogs and water pouches with us. As in any area of Haiti, when the locals saw a group of white people congregating by the river they came to see what was going on. We started a fire and grilled the hot dogs and started handing them out. It was such a needed blessing for the whole group. After the heaviness of the morning and the aggressiveness of the VBS kids, it was just so nice to be around kids - and their parents - who were so happy. They didn't just grab the food from our hands, they took it graciously. Some of the ladies had put together a bunch of bags of clothes and toiletries that we were able to hand out. Again, they were so gracious! In Bor Kanal, this would've probably caused a riot! God knew we needed this and I am so grateful that he blessed us with our time by the river. He is so good.
That night we learned a new Creole word. Maegan wanted to teach people how to play the card game "B.S." but wanted to use a nicer word, so she asked one of the Haitian guys what the word was for liar. It's Monte. Someone piped up and said, "I've heard that word!" Huh, me too. There were several men yelling it at me while I was teaching this morning in VBS. At the time when I was teaching, I remember thinking that someone outside was mad about something. That night I realized that they were indeed yelling at me. They were yelling it during the part of the lesson where I was telling the kids that Satan didn't win, that Jesus did. Again - proof that it was God working through me. If this had been me, I would have turned tail and never gone back to Bor Kanal. I even remember thinking, "I really hope that part I said about me being murdered wasn't prophetic! Why on earth did those words come out of my mouth?"
In truth, I was so emotionally exhausted, that if we didn't go back to Bor Kanal, I think I would have been okay with that. I had just gone through battle, and the truth was, I really didn't want to go back, but I knew God was telling me to. Originally we were planning on showing the kids version of the Jesus film on the last day of VBS. We had all the equipment to be able to do so. I prayed about it all afternoon and I just never felt a peace about it. I talked to Jan, and she wasn't feeling that the time was right for the film either. At the time I thought, "Well crap! That means I have to teach again!" I really didn't want to. As amazing as it was to have been used by God, I did not want to teach. So, I did what any normal person would do and I prayed, "God if you want me to teach, I will." :) yeah, normal. But, I had decided that I would obey God, no matter what.
On the way home from the river I felt God working on me, getting me prepared for the next day, spiritually and mentally (yes I know I'm already mental - but you know what I mean!). All that night - through dinner and some games of cards, God was at work. I went to bed still praying about what to do the next day, but I knew God was still in control.
***side note - I saw an egret on the way to the river. For those of you who don't know my egret story - ask and I'll tell you in a separate e-mail***
Before bedtime that night we had an amazing and much needed time of praise and worship and prayer. I'm so glad our God is faithful!
Until tomorrow!
Naomi
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