January 6th
Wednesday
Every time I have sat down to write these e-mails the past week, it has not been with an eager heart. More like an obedient one. You see, once I started this, I knew I had to finish it. But each e-mail takes about an hour out of my day. That's an hour I could be reading a book or just chilling, or (on some days) going to bed at a decent time! What has really been cool about it though, is that even though I don't look forward to getting this stuff out, once I start typing, everything just flows. Even though it takes forever to do it, while in the process of typing it doesn't feel like it's really taking all that long. I love how God has been doing that for me. On top of the time commitment, some of it is exhausting to relive. As soon as I'm thinking about those days in great detail I'm transported mentally back to that time and place. Yesterdays e-mail wiped me out. ***weird side note - as I was writing about all the spiritual warfare last night my dog was FREAKING out! She wouldn't stop barking. I never heard anything, and I never saw anything. I didn't feel that same oppressive spirit, but I felt that stopping and praying was the right thing to do. So I did, then she calmed down and just napped on the floor by my feet. Hmmm...***
Okay, so here we are at the last day of VBS. The night before I was really struggling within myself to go back to Bor Kanal. I'm having trouble putting it into words. I think I was just tired emotionally and spiritually (physically I was fine). But God kept bringing verses to my mind that talked about perseverance and endurance. Then I remembered that before the trip, Pastor Tom told me that when in a situation like Haiti, you can't depend on your emotions to get you through, you have to depend on God's endurance. I was reminded of scripture that had stuck out at me on Sunday. It was James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." There are three scriptures that really stick out in my mind right now that really relate to the way I was feeling on that final day of VBS. In my mind I kept thinking that this was the race, today was the finish line and it was not the time to slow down, but to kick everything into gear and give everything I have. When I was still training in Taekwondo I had two favorite phrases that I would use to keep myself going when I was about out of steam. The first one was, "Suck it up!" I know, so encouraging right? But sometimes that’s just what you have to do - you suck it up - you don't think about the pain or the fact that you're out of breath - you dig in and don't let up. My other favorite phrase was "Leave it all on the floor." It's probably pretty self-explanatory, but it meant to put everything out there. You don't want to walk away from a testing or a competition with any energy left. You want to leave it all in the ring. Well, that's what I felt this day was for me. It was the day to suck it up and leave it all in Haiti. Mentally to me - this was a race.
Here are the verses that have a whole new significance for me.
2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."
Acts 20:24 "However, I consider my life nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."
As we prayed Tuesday night we decided as a group to try to get to the church about 15 minutes early so we could get in before the kids and have time to pray in the church. We also wanted to sing "We're standing on Holy ground" before the kids got in there. That's a song we sang during our praise time that just really seemed to be relevant to our situation. That morning as we were preparing to leave for Bor Kanal I had this image in my head of angels lining the pathway from the cars to the church and surrounding the church. It gave me such comfort.
Well, unfortunately we didn't have the truck so by the time we tied the benches to the roof of the car and somehow fit two Rubbermaid tubs and at least 20 people into two vehicles we arrived about 10 minutes late. Just like the days before, as soon as the kids saw us they swarmed the church. However, today, Grandma Elphni was in the church sweeping and kept the doors closed so no one could get in. It still looked like a mob on the outside of the church, trying to push to be at the front of the line to get in, but I couldn't stop smiling. I felt God's presence and his protection. I knew this would be a good day. Our group somehow made it to the front of the line and got inside and the bouncers were able to let in just a few kids at a time in an orderly fashion. As it was, Jan and I were stuck in the back of the crowd and couldn't get through, so we walked around to the back of the church and went in that way. Grandma Elphni was the one that let us in and she was so sweet. Again - it's that love thing - there is no language barrier.
As soon as our whole group was together we gathered at the front of the church and said a prayer than sang our song. I'm telling you, I felt so at peace. The day before was chaos, but this was the complete opposite. God was in control.
I told Jiffy that since the day before had been so hard, I just wanted to sing lots of praise songs before getting into the lesson. So that's what he did. It was wonderful! When it came time for the lesson, I didn't feel God's leading like I had the previous two days. Thankfully God had given me a heads up that things would be different today, otherwise I might have panicked. Before ever getting to the church I felt that God was telling me that He had said all He needed to say and that now it was my turn to speak. As I wrote in my journal:
"There were a couple of specific things I felt led to say, but the rest was almost like God was telling me, 'I spoke through you the last two days. I have given them the Truth, now it is your turn to do your part.' Maybe I felt that way because I can honestly say I have never led anyone to Christ. The Bible says that He calls people to Himself, but it also tells us it is our responsibility to witness to them and to make disciples. Make - an action word. God was saying it was time to fulfill my duty."
So, that's what I did. In a nutshell I told them that yesterdays lesson was really hard for me to teach and it may have been hard to hear and receive as well. I told them how I had heard people call me a liar while I spoke to them, but that the Bible says (and this was God's prompting) "Jesus is the way and the Truth and the life and no one can come to the Father, no one can get to Heaven without Faith in Jesus Christ." And guess what I heard outside the church walls? "Monte! Monte! Monte!" I told them that I felt I had said everything God wanted me to tell them and that it was now time to choose. Did they want to accept what I believe to be the Truth which is that Jesus loved us so much that he died for us and rose again on the third day conquering sin and death or did the want to believe Satan - who wants us to be miserable and angry, sick and hungry. I told them that if they wanted to accept Jesus into their lives that all they had to do was invite him in and I led them through the prayer of salvation.
As soon as I was done teaching Jiffy came up to me and asked, "Can I call those to the center that want to accept Jesus." I was like "OF COURSE!!!" I'm so grateful that he asked to do that, not that he needed my permission, but it did two things. First, and most important, it gave the kids a chance to have a more personal prayer time - more one on one - without a translation slowing down the process. Secondly, it allowed us to see that mighty work God had done. Jiffy asked if anyone wanted to accept Christ and IMMEDIATELY 6-7 kids ran to the center of the room to join him. He asked again and even more came. In all there were 25-30 kids. He asked them some questions - things like "Do you believe Jesus is the son of God," "Do you believe Jesus died for your sins?" "Do you believe that he rose on the third day?" And then he prayed with them. One of the happiest moments of my life!!!
When they were done praying, one girl asked a question. Jiffy turned to me and said, "She wants to know what to do since she doesn't have church clothes." Remember in Haiti - no church clothes equals no admittance to church. I was so happy to tell her to come back next week and Miss Jan would be there, that she could always come to Kids Club and learn about Jesus from Jan. Do you see how important Jan's presence is? Without a missionary willing to work with these kids, they would be like the seed that fell on rocky soil. Their new found faith would grow, but the roots wouldn't be strong and it would wither. Please continue to pray for Jan and these kids!!!
I was so giddy the rest of the day. I'm sure I was obnoxious! But who cares, it was for good reason. The rest of my day was spent packing and going to market to buy souvenirs. I had told Jan that I had no desire to ever go to market again, but she promised me we wouldn't be going to the same area. It was a much more pleasant experience than the first time. Plus, Donald, my security blanket, was there with us.
Something cool that I didn't know about until later that was just a blessing to me... Maegan told me that there was one boy in her group that was in tears when I was leading them through the prayer. He was one of the first ones to Jiffy (I think the boy in the white shirt and blue shorts in the attached pictures). Someone else said that they had kids crying too, and those were the ones that accepted Christ. It was encouraging because you wonder how many accepted Christ and really understood it. But to me, that was proof that it was a heartfelt decision on their part.
At the end of each day of our journal there is a place to write "Blessings you received today." For this day I wrote: "Feeling God say, "Well done good and faithful servant!" Nothing quite like knowing you pleased God. :)
***Bonus Story***
I had some people ask to hear the Egret Story, so I figured instead of sending out two mass e-mails, I'd attach it to this one.
It happened about 2 1/2 years ago. My son, Jaedon was 4 years old and driving me NUTS with questions. He would ask them ALL DAY LONG! It was summertime and I was bringing him home from swimming lessons. We drove by a community pond and there was a bird by the water.
"Mom," he asked, "what kind of bird is that?"
"What bird," I asked, already exhausted from the 10,000 questions he had asked that morning.
"That white one."
I glanced out the window. "I don't know."
"But mom, I really want to know what it is!"
"Jaedon, I'm sorry, but I don't know." Then for some reason, I think out of pure frustration and exhaustion I said, "Why don't you ask God? Maybe he'll tell you."
"Okay," he said. Then he started praying, "God, can you tell Momma what kind of bird that is because I really want to know," and this is how he ended - still does - all his prayers, "because that would be so nice, in Jesus name, Amen!"
IMMEDIATELY, and I mean immediately, the word egret came to mind. "Jaedon," I said, slightly bewildered, "I think that's an egret."
"Oh, okay. Thanks!"
And wouldn't' you know it! I got home, typed "egret" into a Google search and there was a picture of the bird we had seen. That was God's way of letting me know he was there - and he was listening! Ever since that day, when I see an egret my spirits are immediately lifted. It is a constant reminder to me that God knows me and knows what I'm going through. So that day in Haiti when I saw an egret on the way to the river, within a couple of hours of having endured heavy spiritual battle, I knew God was telling me he was still holding me tight. He was still, and always will be in control.
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